Patching Things Up with an Apology

Misunderstandings are a given not only in a marriage but in all kinds of relationships. Correct me if I'm wrong but it's a reality that shouting matches can erupt even from the slightest and smallest misunderstanding! If you and your partner haven't argued in any way watch out because one of you is probably keeping it all bottled up inside. When that explodes it'll be more awful! This also goes for family members, siblings and even friends. This happens because each one of us is different, unique, as God designed us to be.

Our differences have a purpose. These unique differences give balance as we interact in our immediate surroundings and in the community. According to the book "The Adventist Home" by Ellen G. White, "It is in the order of God that persons of varied temperaments should associate together." These unique differences should allow us to associate together and not tear us apart. But sadly, it's the latter that happens most of the time. This just makes it more critical for each of us to know to go about the reconciliation process.

The key words to make things right again are forgiveness and reconciliation. This goes for both parties involved. But let's face it, if you are the wronged party it can be difficult to forgive right? The one who's in the wrong must know that sometimes simply saying "sorry' is not enough. Some people need to see it through action. As the saying goes, "Action speaks louder than words." Some people, including me, have difficulty apologizing and actually verbalizing an apology. For my my part, what I do is rectify it through action but I know it's not enough.



In their article in the Adventist World magazine, Carol and David Tasker, professors at the Adventist International Institute of Advanced Studies, Phils (AIIAS) outlined 5 Languages of Apology that can be of great help in patching misunderstandings and squabbles.

5 Languages of Apology

• Expressing REGRET
• "I am sorry"
• Accepting RESPONSIBILITY 
• "I was wrong"
• Making RESTITUTION
• "What Can I Do to Make It Right?"
• Genuinely REPENTING
• "I'll try not to do it again"
• Requesting FORGIVENESS
• "Will You Please Forgive Me?"

So, next time you hurt your partner, sibling, or friend maybe you should try these languages and find out what the outcome is. I'll sure keep this in mind!