September 29, 2009

After All This Time

I saw you again. I was shocked to see you there last Saturday. I wasn't really expecting it, or you. Maybe if we hadn't turned back to the front door I wouldn't have seen you, or you me. It was you who saw me first. I wasn't really minding the people walking by, but suddenly there was a tap on my arm, and when I looked it was you. After nine months of silence and just wondering what happened and why everything turned out the way they did, I saw you. I didn't know what to think, what to do. When you looked at me it was like you were so glad to see me, but then when I looked at you I couldn't help the feeling of resentment over the unexplained things that came flooding back. But I fought it and I tried to act normal. I guess I didn't smile when I saw you because suddenly the smile was wiped off your face as well. But you came with us anyway. I acted nonchalantly the way you did. Call me pretender but that's really what I did. I pretended to be civil, to be polite, to be friendly despite the resentment I was feeling. I kept thinking to myself, "why am I even talking to you?" but I couldn't help myself. I guess I was giving you the chance to explain, but you didn't. Until we parted ways.

I texted you that night, asking how you were. I sent you a message that we needed to talk about the unresolved things, but you never replied. Finally, it really made me think that there was nothing I could do about it anymore if you didn't want to talk to me. But through someone's advice I gave you another chance. I texted you again that if you wanted to talk I will wait for you at this specific time and place. I guess it was hoping for too much to expect any reply. But though there wasn't any reply, I went there and waited. I gave one whole hour. I sat there, sipping my coffee and thinking how stupid I could be waiting for nothing. But I waited. One hour. But the minutes passed, and still nothing. To pass the time I tried to write a poem about that hour. I looked at my watch again, 5 minutes to 5. Then I received a text from you. You came. If the hour went by without hearing anything from you, it would have been goodbye forever, without resolution, without healing all the hurt. So, we talked, or rather I talked...all the resentment, all my hurt. You just stood there with the somber look on your face. I asked why you did what you did, but I wasn't satisfied with your reasons. But I just let it go. It's just time for me to stop hurting, to stop blaming myself because you know in your heart it wasn't me but rather your deceitful heart. After all this time I'm finally letting all my hurt go...I'm letting you go.

September 14, 2009

Sunsets

Did I ever mention here that I love to watch sunsets? It's true. If you make me choose between sunrise and sunset, I'd always go for sunset. I don't know why, but the sunset has more appeal to me than the sunrise. When I was still living at home I could watch beautiful sunsets that sometimes I tend to take them for granted. But when I got here in Manila, I rarely have the chance to watch the sun go down. When I go out of the office it's always dark already.

I was able to experience the sunset again when we went walking along Baywalk a few weeks ago. It was fun. Although the sunset could have been better if the sky wasn't overcast with clouds.

Here are some of the pictures I got with my camera.


September 3, 2009

Poem: Over and Done