Half-Life

If you've heard the song "Half-Life" you'll know what i'm talking about. This condition not only pertains to love but to life in it's totality. Living a half-life is not how our life should be, it must be lived at it's fullest with all the joys and the sorrows, but sometimes it seems that there is only sorrow.

There are times and days when all we see is just an endless void of darkness and it's just so hard to see the light. And there are times tha no matter what you do, the feeling of worthlessness and just won't subside, and it is at this instance when you amost wish that you're numb so that you won't be able to feel the pain that life keeps on handing down to you. It's like living in a limbo unable to go back yet powerless of moving forward.

This especially true when all that you have ever held dear and what you have used as inspiration seems to be vanishing out of sight. What used to be possible and feasible suddenly just seems to fall into an impossibility.

Life's like that, in the blooming of youth everything seems easy and you have a clear goal and direction of where you want to go. But as we grow older circumstances change - suddenly we are besieged by endless concerns and responsibilities and because of this priorities also change. Due to these pressing issues we forget about ourselves putting first the needs of others and one day we find ourselves alone, with no purpose, no clear direction for the future.

True Though

People are so alike in many ways especially in terms of expriences and feelings. No one has the monopoly of those in this world, so you can never say that other people don't know what you are going through because it just isn't true. The only difference there is, lies in the magnitude of those feelings and experiences.

It is for certain that most people have things and experiences in their lives that they want to change if only there is a way to do it. Sometimes this is the way I feel too. If only it is possible to go back to the time when I was still child, I would like to change some of the decisions I made back then so that ghosts wouldn't haunt me today and there would be no room for regrets. If only time machines and time travel were for real, I'd like to be the first to use it. But this is just not possible, it's all make-believe. To those who feel the same way as I do, what's true is here and now, you just have to make the best of what's before you now. It's no use hankering for what can never be and no use thinking of the what-could-have-beens, it will onlybring grief and frustrations.

Despite mistakes and blunders that you have done in the past, what counts is that you are still being given another chance in life in the path that's right before you now. Your past and my past is what makes us who we are today, it's what makes us unique. It adds depth to our character, making us more appreciative of things that are worthwhile and we know better than to dwell on shallow things. And now older and wiser, there won't be an excuse for making the same mistakes... choose wisely for who knows if there will yet be another chance after that.

To Change or Not to Change

Have you ever wondered why things go the way they do? It seems that change is all there is in this world and sometimes I can't help questioning why things just can't go on as they were before. Change is something that happen whether we want it to or not, and as one poem I read said "When the wind of change come calling, you just have to do its bidding", and it's really true. Change is a requisite in order for a person to grow and become more mature. I know this is true, and even I crave for change especially in my life so that I can be happy and feel more fulfilled. I long for a major change but still I hesitate. I feel hesitant and afraid because of what that change might bring for me, whether happiness or disappointment, no one really knows. And I know that it is a risk I must take sooner or later in order for me to grow and be all that I can be.

However, there are always two sides to the coin and sometimes I just can't help questioning why everytime I make a change, some things that I have grown comfortable with and the people I have come to love just changed all of a sudden. In my pursuit of change certain things have to be sacrificed and sometimes this is something that frustrates me and gives me so much pain, having to choose between the two-edged sword of change and familiarity.

There are times when I can't help but wonder, maybe I was born in the wrong place at the wrong time, maybe all I am and what I will be is not here and now but in another world and another time. But since I am here I just have to do the best can in order to cope and deal with the things that fate, if there is such a thing, hands down to me. Deal with them and use them to my advantage in order to find the life that I want and the life that I need in order for me to find out who I am in a world fraught with change.